


A Little App That Said "Love Me"

by michiiGii



Series: RFA Pregnancy Complications [6]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Psychosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 18:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9619127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michiiGii/pseuds/michiiGii
Summary: Congratulations, you won the lottery!You were on the pill, but now you're pregnant!Occurs Post-Game in my own personal canon-ish Ideal World.





	1. Invitation to a Tea Party

The pill did not always work.

It had a great percentage, and came with many great reviews, but the pill was not perfect.

And you had always had unusual luck.

You were lucky to have been the one to join the RFA.  You were lucky to have not been killed by Mint Eye.

You were lucky that somehow the man who used to be your greatest threat was now the love of your life.

And now, you had won the ultimate lottery:  you had gotten pregnant while on the pill.

“Congratu-fucking-lations to me…”

* * *

“I don’t know how to tell him!” you moaned, taking a sip of your coffee before remembering that it was a decaf, no-sugar monstrosity, “…ugh!”

“Be nice…Jaehee put that on the menu just for you,” Zen chided, seeing the sour look on your face.

You, he, and Jaehee were sitting in Jaehee’s cafe.  Thanks to your efforts before your first RFA party, Jumin had relinquished a cafe project to Jaehee; now, she was the manager of what she was hoping to expand into a small coffee house chain.  She was still Jumin’s primary assistant, but they had figured out a system where less company-essential tasks (like Jumin’s dry-cleaning, basic paperwork organization, or taking care of Elizabeth the Third) were delegated to C&R’s interns. Thanks to you, Jaehee had the time to start her coffee empire, branching off of C&R, but still with a healthy amount of independence from Jumin.  She often took paperwork out of her company office to work in the cafe; she liked the atmosphere better, and frankly, she worked better there.  

That day, you and Zen were having a lunch date with her while she scanned through files. Her ability to multitask always amazed you.

“Don’t you like it?” Jaehee asked, hurt at seeing that you weren’t happy with your ‘coffee’, “The beans were roasted to perfection; I made sure of it, personally.”

“There’s no sugar!” you exclaimed, then softened when you saw Jaehee’s expression, “…well, I guess the flavour _is_ good.  It definitely smells nice.  I’m just a sweet tooth, I guess.”

Jaehee smiled at that, grateful.  You couldn’t help but smile back; though you had tried to keep things professional between the two of you, after fangirling over Zen, together, you couldn’t help but have become friends since that first party.

“Zen, why don’t _you_ try the coffee?” Jaehee suggested, turning to the young actor.

“Let’s talk about MC,” he said quickly, changing the subject.

You rolled your eyes at him, but he shrugged subtly.  Somehow, when you had met, you had seen past his narcissistic mask and noticed the insecure, lonely runaway that Zen really was.  And you hadn’t attacked him for it.  For that, you had his undying loyalty.

“Are you sure that you’re…you’re…” Zen looked like he was choking.

He looked into his cup of tea (healthy, antioxidant-filled leaf juice), as if to find the words there, then threw you his best sad puppy eyes.  And this was Zen:  he looked like a depressed golden retriever pup.  He _really_ didn’t want to say it.

“Am I sure that I’m…pregnant?” you offered.

“With child?” Jaehee added.

“Oven-bunned?” you grinned.

“Knocked up,” Jaehee nodded sagely.

“OH GOD, PLEASE STOP!” Zen exclaimed, “YOU KNOW WHAT…you know what I mean,” he ended on a quiet tone, realizing too late that he was yelling in a public place, and switching to a more appropriate volume partway through his speech.

You and Jaehee exchanged glances, then simultaneously shook your heads.

“No, no idea.”

“What _do_ you mean?”

“You have to say it.”

“Otherwise we’ll never know.”

Redness crept up Zen’s neck and across his cheeks.  He stared the two of you down, at first, but you were his two dearest friends in the world, and he was just _so_ weak for the two of you.  So, gradually, his gaze slid away to the side.

“…You’re expecting,” he muttered, before burying his face in his cup to take a sip of tea.

“ _Oh_ ,” you said exaggeratedly, exchanging a smug grin with Jaehee, “ _That’s_ what you meant!  Well, yes, I am very sure I am _expecting_.” It was fun to tease Zen.

“How sure?” Zen pressed, refusing to join in on the joke.

You rolled your eyes again, but then you saw that Jaehee was watching you intently.  She wanted to be sure, too.

“…I’ve peed on sticks and had a blood test with a doctor,” you answered, frowning down at the table in front of you, “It’s official.  I’m having a baby.”

There was a silence at the table, its prior cheeriness completely gone.  In its place stood worry, and definite discomfort.  Nobody at the table know how Saeran would react, for sure, but you all knew he wouldn’t exactly be _happy_.

You had been taking the pill for a reason, after all.

“…” Zen cleared his throat awkwardly, “Don’t…be mad at me…I love you, and I know you love him…”

You tried not to snort, at that.  It had taken Zen _so long_ to come to terms with your relationship with Saeran, and you knew there was still a lot of distrust, there.  And Zen being Zen, he had always been up front about it.  …it was annoying, but you did appreciate that he didn’t try to hide it.

“But…” Zen spoke haltingly, clearly not comfortable with what it was he had to say, but still trying to get it out, “…have you considered… _not_ being…pregnant…?”

Your brow furrowed, for a moment.  What did that even mean?  How could you undo…

…

… _oh_.

“…That didn’t even occur to me.”

“Then would-”

“ **No**.”

The strength in your voice surprised even you.

“N-no. No.  No, no, no,” your protests got stronger with every repetition, “ _No_. Not an option.  No.”

“Why not?” Zen asked, his jaw tightening subtly, but his voice still gentle, “You’re scared of him, aren’t you?”

“No! Never!  He’s different, now!”

“They why can’t you tell him?” he wasn’t scolding you, exactly; he kept his voice kind, “What’s holding you back?”

“I…I don’t…” your voice trailed off.  Jaehee took your hand and squeezed it gently.   _I’ll support you, no matter what you do._

“…don’t know?” Zen tried to finish for you.

“I don’t want to scare _him!_ ”

That was it.

That was why.

It hadn’t even really been a solid concept in your mind, until you said it.  And then it was like you had carved it into stone.

“This will terrify him,” you realized out loud, emotion shaking your voice, “He didn’t plan this, he didn’t expect this…hell, he’s probably never even dared to hope for this.  And he knows how messed up he is, Zen.  He knows!  That’s why he tries to chase Saeyoung and I away, sometimes.  Even now.  He loves his brother and I so much; sometimes he thinks we’d be better off far away from him.  How much more for his own kid?”

* * *

_That lunch did not help_ , you thought, unlocking the door to the Choi household.

You didn’t officially live with the brothers Choi; you still had your own place, but they had given you a key, and you spent most of your time there, anyway.  You were the best at soothing Saeran after his nightmares, after all.

“I’m home!” you called out, hanging your jacket, “Anyone here?”

No answer.  Maybe your boys were out for a walk.  No big deal.  You saw your robot cat seated on the landing partway up the staircase.

<Welcome home!> the cat whirred, its own robotic version of a purr, <Did you have a good day?>

You smiled and walked over to pat its head, assuring it that you had.  

Once upon a time, you had thought that Saeyoung had made the cat for you because he had wanted more than just friendship.  Every now and then, you thought that maybe he really had.  But even from back then, you had always taken a back seat with whatever it was that Saeyoung was dealing with.  He had tried scaring you off, even, but you had stuck by him.  You were a great friend to him, and he appreciated that. Then his brother was his priority.  And that made sense.  You understood all that.  There had been a bigger picture, and you had seen it.  But you also had known that you deserved to be more than just a vague entity with Saeyoung.  Even on Saeran’s good days, Saeyoung seemed to forget about you, choosing to keep to himself.  You weren’t high on his priority list.  That might be okay with a friend, but with a boyfriend…

So, after struggling for a while, you had let those feelings go.  And you had found that someone else had been waiting for you.

You called out to the house again, but still no answer.  You shrugged to yourself, gave the robo-cat another pat on the head, then headed upstairs to Saeran’s suite.  You figured you could wait for him there.

“…MC…”

You froze when you saw Saeran already at the top of the steps.  His head was bowed, so you couldn’t see his face, but you could see very clearly what he was holding in his hands.

A box for a pregnancy test.

Somehow, despite what you had thought were very thorough efforts, Saeran had found evidence of your secret.

“Is this…” he shook the box slightly, “…ours?”

“…yes, sweetheart,” you answered gently, “It’s ours.”

“What…did it say?” he asked, still not looking up.  There was no emotion in his voice; if only you could see his face.

“…Saeran…could you look at me?” you asked, staying right where you were, just out of arm’s reach.

At first, he didn’t move.  Not even a twitch.  You thought maybe he wouldn’t move until you answered his question.

Then, silently, his head lifted up.  Your breath caught when you saw his face.

Tears were slowly streaming down his face.  Not sad tears, or angry ones. Just…tears, full of mixed emotions.  His eyes held you, green pools of love and terror, and apprehension, and…oh, god, you weren’t imagining it; there was just a little bit of hope.

You couldn’t believe it.

Saeran wanted this baby.

“Yes, sweetheart,” you said, answering his real question, “Yes, we are.”

“Are you…are you sure?”

“Positive, love, the doctor made it official,” you answered, smiling at him.

The hope in his eyes gave way to joy!  Radiant, beautiful joy!

A baby!

His!

And _yours!_

He was so happy!  Sunshine spread across his face; you wanted to run into his arms and just kiss that beautiful smile to feel its warmth.

…but only for a moment.

And then it was gone.

His eyes slid into cold fear.

No more hope.  No more happiness.

Sudden despair.  Memory of how strong he was.  And how cruel he could be.

And then there was something darker.

Something empty and terrible entered his eyes.

He had always looked away from you and hidden himself when this mood came upon him.

But this time, it had come while you were locked into each others’ eyes.

“…Run from me,” he commanded.

You turned from him and fled.


	2. The Mad Hatter, Expecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now he knows.  
> So now, we wait.

You had been living in your apartment for months.  Your belly was getting huge, but still you kept busy, visiting your doctor regularly, collecting baby things, and checking out stores for the best diaper bargains.  Saeran refused to let you into his own home, but he and Saeyoung had been sending you pictures of the nursery they were working on.

“I want you to live with us,” he wrote into the messenger, where your nearest and dearest could see, “Both of you.  But not yet.  I promise I’ll be strong enough when you and the baby come, but right now, I’m not.  Not yet.”

Well, he had pined for you, for a while, back when you were interested in Saeyoung.  You supposed that it was your turn to wait, now.

The first week after making you leave, Saeran had kept his distance.  He had called you that night, apologizing for his behaviour and making it clear to you that he loved you and wanted this baby, but also that it was going to be a struggle for him.  He only ever messaged you in the app, so that your friends could keep him accountable to what he said.

He knew he couldn’t only rely on you and his brother to get him through this.  He needed all the help he could get.

* * *

 

After that first week, Saeran had shown up on your doorstep with Saeyoung and _Zen_ , of all people.  You had looked curiously between Saeran and Zen, knowing that they weren’t really friends, until Zen explained.

“Saeyoung might be able to talk him down, but if it comes down to it, I’m strong enough to pull him away from you, even without help,” your self-proclaimed bodyguard said confidently, “He knows how protective I am of you, so he asked me to come.”

Saeran had been scared to touch you, that day, but he had not pulled away when you greeted him with a light kiss.  He never refused you when you reached out to hold his hand, or when you asked him to hold you.  He was never even stiff, or awkward when he touched you; his body melted into yours when he embraced you, and his kisses were still affectionate.  But for the first few months, he never made the first move; you had to ask for him.

He made a point of visiting you daily, even if it was just for a short visit, or to see you to one of your appointments.  He even went grocery shopping with you a few times, holding your basket for you while Zen and Saeyoung kept a watchful eye at a subtle distance.  But his favourite was when you both stayed home, him resting his head in your lap while you stroked his hair, the two of you just…talking.

“Sometimes, I think I have to get rid of it,” he explained to you, once, in hushed tones.  Saeyoung was on his laptop, nearby, while Zen studied a script silently in an armchair, across the room.  “Children leave, right?  They’re supposed to.  It’s your job as a parent to help your kid leave.  So why put off that pain?  Just end it now.”

_It will hurt me when our child grows up and leaves us_.

This was how he opened up to you.  Him saying one thing, and meaning another.  The days past, and Saeran would share more dark secrets with you.

“I think, sometimes, the kid will be happier never being born.  Never having me as a parent.”

_The world is cruel.  What if I am, too?_

Eventually, your belly got too big for Saeran to lay on your lap.  So he started to kneel in front of you while you sat, resting his forehead lightly on the bump, or lying down beside you on the couch, holding one of your hands like a lifeline.

“I had a dream, last night.  I was screaming that the baby was a naughty child.  It would never be good, it would never be useful, it would never amount to anything.  I couldn’t stop screaming…and then the voice wasn’t mine, anymore; it was my mother’s.”

_What if I can’t break the cycle?_

“Sometimes, I think of the labour.  How terrible it is.  How it will hurt you. How you will suffer.  How it might break you.  I can’t lose you!  I can’t…!  How dare the baby take you?!  You’re _mine_. I can’t live without you!  I _can’t_ …so _kill it._ KILL IT.  KILL IT BEFORE IT HURTS YOU.”

Zen and Saeyoung both had need to subdue Saeran, that day, but not because he had been attacking you.

He had started clawing at his own face.

_What if you get hurt?  What will I do without you?_

_Better being an orphan than only having me._

It made you feel sick, seeing him struggle, like this.  Saeran had just started getting back onto his own feet, and now he was desperate to do it faster.  Get better sooner.  Every time you saw him slip, your heart broke a little for him.

But you were so proud of how hard he was trying.  Your brave, broken sweetheart, doing everything in his power to get healthy.  For you. For your baby.

It was not pretty.

It was not easy.

It was not even steady.

But it was progress.

Saeran was getting there.

* * *

 

You were very far along by the time Saeran was willing to reach out and hold you, again.  He adored lying down before you, of course, a silent declaration of his trust for you.   _I have no guards.  My life is yours._ But he also loved having you in his arms.  You were his treasure. Holding you against his body, his face buried in the crook of your neck, drowning in your scent…he could easily pretend that only the two of you existed in the world.  This always calmed him down.

Before, he held you around your arms, facing him, your elbows pinned comfortably against yourself.  You were deliciously trapped with him, never to escape.  You never felt the need to escape; feeling him breathe slowly, his heartbeat right beside yours, was soothing for you, too.

But now, he preferred holding you from behind, his arms lower, around your belly.  Saeran could breathe you in and protect your bump, all at once.

That’s how he felt your baby’s first kicks.  His head had shot up when he felt a little bump against one of his arms.  He had stared hard, almost with hostility, at the spot on your belly that had offended him, until you guided the palm of his hand onto the spot and let him really feel it.

“…is that…?” he whispered into your ear, while a gentle staccato played against his palm.

“Yes, love,” you smiled, twisting your head to awkwardly smooch him on the lips, “Our baby’s saying ‘hello’.”

“…hello…” he said in a small voice, as if not wanting to scare the little one off.

Then, when the kicking stopped, in an even tinier voice, “…bye-bye…”

Your heart seized.  That was the cutest thing that had ever come out of anyone’s mouth.  Ever.

You glanced around the room and were glad to see Saeyoung tactfully put his headphones on.  Zen seemed to have sneaked away at some point, no doubt within earshot, but out of sight.  Silently, you thanked them.

“…Move in with me,” Saeran said suddenly.

You blinked, then turned your body to see him a little more properly. His hand stayed on your belly, but his emerald eyes were looking straight into yours.

“Move in with me,” he said again, more firmly this time, “I miss you. And I can handle it, now.  I love you.  I want you.  I want…I want you, too,” he said haltingly, directing his gaze at your bellybutton before turning back to you, “Please.  The house is ready for you.  I’m ready.  …And I hate leaving you every night.”

No need for internal translation, this time.  Everything was honest and out in the open.

“Of course,” you agreed readily, stroking his cheek, “We’ve been waiting for you.”


	3. Dear Mind Apart, Who Stole My Heart?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And a very merry real birth day, to you...to you...

He didn’t dare set foot in the delivery room.

You had both figured out a plan, beforehand.  He hated seeing you in pain.  It twisted him, and made him dark and scary, and his first instinct was always to destroy whatever was responsible.  And in this particular situation, he could not be allowed to do that.

So, you made a plan.

Jumin, at your request, was willing to send his finest to drive you to the hospital.  Nothing but the best for the one woman who did not see him as a robot or credit card.  Saeyoung would take Saeran in a separate car, so that he wouldn’t need to hear you in pain.  Jaehee or Yoosung (whoever was more readily available) would go with you, in case you needed help in your car.  Zen and Saeyoung would make sure Saeran left the delivery wing or even the hospital if things became too much for him.

The plan was ready.  You all had your roles.  The game was set.

Except there was a huge flaw in the plan.

And there had been no way any of you could have seen it, until after your water had definitely broken.

You were in labour, and everyone was out in the street, trying to get into your separate cars, when you all realized it:

Saeran refused to leave your side.

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME!” he screamed, kicking Saeyoung in the stomach with both legs.  The hacker went down to the ground with a strained grunt, but Zen held Saeran determinedly in a half-Nelson. “NO, SHE NEEDS ME!  GET THE FUCK OFF!”

_Plan? What plan?_

“I don’t think this is gonna work,” you groaned, trying to remember in your pain-hazed state how to breathe, “Saeran isn’t gonna…oh, _god_ , this is a big one!”

“Angel, breathe!” Saeran was still yelling, but on a more sane level, “ _In,_ out-out-out… _in_ , out-out-out…”

As he kept coaching you, you obeyed.  Big breath, puff-puff-puff, _in_ , out-out-out…

To your labour-addled brain’s amazement, the black spots receded from your vision.  Oh, good!  You weren’t going to pass out!

“…It’s working!” Yoosung exclaimed, seeing clarity return to your eyes, “She’s getting a handle on the pain!”

“LET ME STAY WITH HER!” Saeran roared, again.

Maybe he head-butted Zen?  You weren’t sure; you were trying to visualize your happy place:  eating ice cream out of a carton, watching crappy movies with Saeran on the couch.  Visualizing the happy place was what you were supposed to do, right?

“Fuck you, right up your fucking ginger ass,” Zen growled, tightening his hold on Saeran and trying to ignore the blood flowing from his nose, “If you broke my fucking nose, I will fucking throttle you right here…!”

“LET ME GO!”

“E-everyone needs to calm down!” Yoosung stammered, trying to stay level-headed; the friend that had helped him get his life back on track was in labour, so now he had to be the strong one, “Can you walk, MC?  Let’s try to cross the sidewalk…”

“Ok…”

“I think they need to go in the same car,” Saeyoung wheezed from his place on the ground, his glasses askew; he was still recovering from that kick, “Fuck the plan!”

“Angel, breathe!  Just focus on breathing!”

“But what if he hurts her?” Zen grunted, never releasing his death grip on the father-to-be.

“FUCK YOU, YOU RED-EYED SHIT.”

“I don’t think he will,” Yoosung answered, opening one of the doors to Driver Kim’s car with one arm, while supporting you with the other. Slowly, slowly, you were walking over.

“One step at a time, baby, you’ve got this!”

“How do you know?” Zen asked dubiously, while easily dodging Saeran’s hands as they blindly and awkwardly tried to reach back and gouge his eyes.

“Angel, just let yourself down on the seat and Yoosung will help your legs in.  LET ME GO, YOU ALBINO FUCK.”

“Well, aside from all the yelling at you, everything coming out of his mouth has been supporting MC,” Yoosung said, holding your arms as you slowly eased yourself into the car.

“And it’s working,” you gasped, feeling the pain start to temporarily recede, “Saeran, I’m so glad you’re here!”

“Aw, fuck, now they _have_ to get into the same car,” Saeyoung groaned, seeing the fevered devotion in his twin’s eyes strengthen.  The former terrorist was triggered, alright, but it was to help _you_.

“I’m here for you, Angel.  SO GET OFF ME, ASSWIPE.”

Frowning stormily, Zen let Saeran go, then braced himself for retribution. However, rather than attack his captor, Saeran rushed over to you, helping you get comfortable in the car.

“But what if?” Zen insisted, still not giving up.  RFA’s princess had to stay safe, dammit!

“Then get in the car with them,” Saeyoung answered, wondering inwardly if Saeran had cracked one of his ribs. Good thing they were on their way to a hospital?

“WHERE IS HER FUCKING BAG.”

Seeing your bag of necessities in Yoosung’s hands, Saeran snatched it from him before laying it neatly on the seat beside you.  Yoosung tried to get into the car from the other side, and received a glare from Saeran for his pains.

“…Yeah, Saeyoung, I’m going with you,” the college student said, after seeing a fiery, godless pit in Saeran’s eyes, _I choose life._

Zen, however, Saeran let into the car.  You lover had tensed, seeing that 'albino fuck' get into the car with you, then relaxed, thinking better of it.

He was the only one who could subdue Saeran, right now, after all.

So much for your damned plan.

* * *

 

The rest of the RFA was in the waiting room, while Saeran stayed with you.  The last any of them had seen of you, Saeran had been behind you on the delivery bed, holding one of your hands and stroking your hair, whispering into your ear to breathe or push or relax or whatever it was that you needed to hear.  It wasn’t exactly that he was taking your labour well.  It was more that he saw you needed him, and he was desperate to fill that role to the best of his abilities.

And he was doing so well.  Even Zen was impressed.

“How long have they been in there?” Jaehee asked, looking at Zen from her seat but speaking to the rest of the room.  She and Jumin had gotten to the hospital after the others had arrived, having been tied up at work.

Zen shook his head at her question.  He hadn’t been keeping track; he was focused on pacing.

“It’s been about 6 hours,” Jumin answered, consulting his watch.  He was leaning against a wall, looking for all intents and purposes as if he were waiting for a town car.  Except that there was a crease on his forehead that Jaehee didn’t recognize.

“Is it normally this long?” Zen asked Yoosung, who was actively non-studying at the waiting room’s small table.

“I’m not gonna be a people doctor, Zen,” the blonde reminded flatly, “A bit different with dogs and horses.”

“But you knew what the other thing was,” Zen insisted, “What did the doctor call it?  The baby was 'breech’?”

“Ok, that’s an exception,” Yoosung nodded, fiddling with one of his notebooks absentmindedly, “But I don’t know!  Maybe it’s long?”

Saeyoung frowned harder from his seat in the corner.  His laptop was open, but he wasn’t working.  Something felt wrong.  After years of experience watching people, he knew that the hospital staff had been nervous around you and Saeran.  They were informed about Saeran’s situation, of course, but they had been more off around _you_ , for some reason.  But why?

You had no history with them.  Was a baby being born feet-first really that big of a deal?

Then everyone’s phone buzzed, all at once.  The hospital staff gave the RFA a few dirty looks for having their phones on, but nobody noticed.

It was a message on the app from Saeran!

<Healthy baby girl!> it read.

Then:

<Pink. Squeaky.>

“Thank God,” Jaehee breathed, as Yoosung ran over to hug Saeyoung.

“The hell does 'squeaky’ mean?” Zen demanded.

“She’s all right,” Jumin shrugged, smiling serenely, “That’s all that matters.”

“I wasn’t talking to you-” Zen started, but then his phone buzzed again.

<SHE PASSED OUT.>

!!!

<THEY’RE KICKING ME OUT.>

And then Saeran left the messenger.

* * *

 

“…Doctor, what happened?…”

“…Lost a lot of blood…”

“Baby is safe.”

“…How long…?”

“…Time will tell…”

“Sir, visiting hours are over.”

“GET AWAY!”

“…He’s the one…”

“Let him stay!”

“…Not the husband…”

“…special case…”

“…waiting game…”

“…patient…”

“…Sh…”

“…buy…looking glass…!”

“…sh…!”

“…sh…”

* * *

 

The first thing you thought was how cold the room was.  Not uncomfortable, but definitely chilly.  Your face was cold.  Your feet were cold.

But then there was warmth beside you.  Wrapped around you.  A comfortable, warm weight on your chest, and soft pressure on you shoulder.

The room was dim.  Maybe it was nighttime?  Or all the lights were out?

Your eyes started to focus.

Yes. Night.  There was the night sky, moonlight flowing in through the window.

You looked down.  A tiny, pink, almost bald little bundle.  Your heart leaped.

Baby.

Daughter.

She made it!  She’s here!

Thank God…!

Then you turned your head to your shoulder.

Pinkish-white hair.

You blinked.  That couldn’t be right.  You looked again.

…Ah. The moonlight playing tricks.

Red hair.  Sleepyhead.

Furrowed brow.  Not good.

Softly, you placed a kiss there.

Smooth brow.  Peaceful.  Good.

And then those beautiful, green eyes were all you could see.

“Saeran…!”

He whispered you name in reply like a prayer, relief flooding his face before pulling you into a kiss.  Somehow, his lips were gentle and possessive all at once…but filled with love.  So much love.

“You scared me…” he murmured, trying to sound scolding, but his voice hitching at the end.

“It was an accident,” you answered, speaking against his lips, not wanting to pull back, yet.

“…I know,” he relented, lightly running a finger along the side of your face, as if seeing it for the first time, “…we keep having accidents.”

“I like this one the best,” you smile, looking down at the baby still sleeping between your breasts, “Is she okay?  Did she eat?”

“Hospital has formula.  She drank,” he answered, wrapping his arms around you both, careful not to jostle your daughter.

You lay there quietly, his forehead against your temple.  What a long day.  You wanted to ask Saeran how long you were out, and where everyone else was, but just thinking about the questions you had made you feel heavy.  You were so tired…

You figured you should sleep while you could.  Sleep when the baby slept, right?  Just a few more moments to sleep…

“…marry me.”

Your eyes snapped open, and your head whipped around to see if he was serious.  He was.

“Saeran…”

“They almost kicked me out for not being your husband.  Zen had to talk them into letting me stay.  Marry me.”

You stared at him blankly.  Was this happening?

He looked down to the side, to your daughter.

“We have a baby together.  Marry me.”

You felt yourself starting to shake your head.  

Those were good reasons, but-

His eyes flicked back to hold yours, freezing you.

“I love you.  And you love me.  And when you die, I die.  Please. …please.  I love you.  Marry me.”

A breath.

A heartbeat.

Then a smile and a teary kiss.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this fic gave me a huuuuuge soft spot for Saeran...  
> This is all in my glowing, ideal world, where you're all doing your best to have a healthy relationship.  
> Playing the game, reading about Saeran...the whole time, I thought, "This boy is broken. He's BROKEN. Can't we do anything to help?"
> 
> Sorry for all the Wonderland references. Contrary to popular belief, that story really was written to be a sweet, fanciful story for a little girl, so I've always really liked it...
> 
> Originally posted at michiiGii-writes.tumblr.com (follow me!)

**Author's Note:**

> Dangerous pregnancies are my jam!  
> The thing is, if Saeran ever ended up with you, considering how messed up his brain chemistry is from both the abuse from is mother, as well as the drugs he was constantly dosed with, your love life would be difficult. If you ever got pregnant, I think his biggest fear would be himself.


End file.
